May Allah Give Us This Kind Of Men
U DONT GET MARRIED TO SOMEONE JUST TO GET THE DELIGHT OF BEING A WIFE N A MOM BUT ALSO TO GET A FRIEND, A LOVER , A SUPPORTER AND A COMFORTER. SHE LEAVES HER FATHER TO FIND SOMEONE WHO WOULD LOVE N CARE MORE THAN HER FATHER DID, SHE LEAVES HER BROTHER TO FIND A FRIEND WHO WOULD BE THERE FOR HER DURING THE UPS N DOWNS OF HER LIFE N WOULD ALWAYS GIVE HIS SHOULDER N BE KIND N PLAYFUL WITH HER.
SUBHANALLAAAAAAAAH..................
I RECIEVED A MESG FROM A DOCTOR FRIEND OF MINE WHO LIVES IN CHICAGO , HAS 5 CHILDREN N IS FINANCIALLY ABUSED. SHE HAS TO RUN TO HER HUSBAND FOR EVERY SINGLE DOLLAR........................
Financial abuse is something that we rarely hear about since it is often insidious and wrapped up in the confines of an abusive relationship. Very rarely do the women in these relationships speak of the issue because of the shame attached to having to account for every penny spent or even ask for money just to purchase the very basic necessities in life.
So what are the signs and what can be done about it?
Forced Career Choices
Women in financially abusive relationships are often forced to take career paths they would not have chosen on their own. This keeps them from succeeding, eventually becoming financially stable and independent in their own right. Many women in these situations are either stay at home moms or if they do work, it is part time with the permission of their spouse. If the woman is lucky enough to be able to work full time in such a relationship then her partner often sabotages her career/work life by forcing her to stay home or giving an ultimatum around quitting the job or ending the relationship.
Every Penny Spent Is A Penny Tracked
Every penny, and I mean every penny must be accounted for when given to the woman in this relationship. If it cannot be accounted for then the emotional and even physical abuse ensues and consequences are handed out. This many involve being given less money for basic necessities or being forced to beg for money. The feeling of being trapped in the house with no money for gas, food or transportation is crippling and women in this type of relationship stick to this rule or they know they will suffer the consequences
No Bank Accounts
No personal bank accounts. No debit card. No savings accounts. No checking account. All money comes from one source. The working partner. This puts the woman in the position of relying on her partner for her very existence, hand to mouth. She is not allowed to have a job and if she does then her checks go to her partner who deposits the money in a separate account not within her control.
Threats Of Leaving
This is one of the most overt forms of financial abuse. Threatening to leave or deny financial support knowing that the woman is unable to support herself without the finances of her partner. Once the partner levies such a threat, control is established since she knows without her partner, her daily needs won’t be met. So, she stays on her lane and keeps herself in line fearing that without her partner, she will be destitute with no place to go.
Lazy Bum -Deadbeat-My Woman -Is-My-Momma Syndrome
This is where the man makes the woman work because he is unwilling to work and be a contributing financial partner in the household. But, don’t think for a minute that the men in these relationships aren’t in control. They still engage in all of the above-mentioned behaviors, but they take and control all of the money coming into the home. All the household bills are usually in the woman’s name and he never pays them, forcing her to work harder while never seeing the fruits of her labor.
Forced Family
In this situation, the woman is essentially pregnant every other year of the relationship, ensuring that she will never have the chance to return to work. Depending on her earning power, with the birth of each child, the cost of childcare makes it impossible to return to work. Her life’s work is to care for children and her partner while never knowing what it is like to taste financial freedom and independence. Ultimately, the woman in this relationship is dependent upon her partner for her survival.
What Can Be Done About It?
Have you ever been in a financially abusive relationship? What tips do you have for women in this situation?
WELL I GUESS U SHOULD ALWAYS SAVE SOME FOR URSELF.
A STINGY (BAKHEEL) PERSON CAN NEVER BECOME GENEROUS, HE WOULD WANT TO TAKE ALL HIS SAVINGS TO HIS GRAVE ALONG WITH HIM.:(((
MAY ALLAH GIV HIDAYA TO ALL. ONE SHOULD NOT BE TOO STINGY NOR SHOULD ONE BE A SPENDTHRIFT.
U DONT GET MARRIED TO SOMEONE JUST TO GET THE DELIGHT OF BEING A WIFE N A MOM BUT ALSO TO GET A FRIEND, A LOVER , A SUPPORTER AND A COMFORTER. SHE LEAVES HER FATHER TO FIND SOMEONE WHO WOULD LOVE N CARE MORE THAN HER FATHER DID, SHE LEAVES HER BROTHER TO FIND A FRIEND WHO WOULD BE THERE FOR HER DURING THE UPS N DOWNS OF HER LIFE N WOULD ALWAYS GIVE HIS SHOULDER N BE KIND N PLAYFUL WITH HER.
SUBHANALLAAAAAAAAH..................
I RECIEVED A MESG FROM A DOCTOR FRIEND OF MINE WHO LIVES IN CHICAGO , HAS 5 CHILDREN N IS FINANCIALLY ABUSED. SHE HAS TO RUN TO HER HUSBAND FOR EVERY SINGLE DOLLAR........................
Financial abuse is something that we rarely hear about since it is often insidious and wrapped up in the confines of an abusive relationship. Very rarely do the women in these relationships speak of the issue because of the shame attached to having to account for every penny spent or even ask for money just to purchase the very basic necessities in life.
So what are the signs and what can be done about it?
Forced Career Choices
Women in financially abusive relationships are often forced to take career paths they would not have chosen on their own. This keeps them from succeeding, eventually becoming financially stable and independent in their own right. Many women in these situations are either stay at home moms or if they do work, it is part time with the permission of their spouse. If the woman is lucky enough to be able to work full time in such a relationship then her partner often sabotages her career/work life by forcing her to stay home or giving an ultimatum around quitting the job or ending the relationship.
Every Penny Spent Is A Penny Tracked
Every penny, and I mean every penny must be accounted for when given to the woman in this relationship. If it cannot be accounted for then the emotional and even physical abuse ensues and consequences are handed out. This many involve being given less money for basic necessities or being forced to beg for money. The feeling of being trapped in the house with no money for gas, food or transportation is crippling and women in this type of relationship stick to this rule or they know they will suffer the consequences
No Bank Accounts
No personal bank accounts. No debit card. No savings accounts. No checking account. All money comes from one source. The working partner. This puts the woman in the position of relying on her partner for her very existence, hand to mouth. She is not allowed to have a job and if she does then her checks go to her partner who deposits the money in a separate account not within her control.
Threats Of Leaving
This is one of the most overt forms of financial abuse. Threatening to leave or deny financial support knowing that the woman is unable to support herself without the finances of her partner. Once the partner levies such a threat, control is established since she knows without her partner, her daily needs won’t be met. So, she stays on her lane and keeps herself in line fearing that without her partner, she will be destitute with no place to go.
Lazy Bum -Deadbeat-My Woman -Is-My-Momma Syndrome
This is where the man makes the woman work because he is unwilling to work and be a contributing financial partner in the household. But, don’t think for a minute that the men in these relationships aren’t in control. They still engage in all of the above-mentioned behaviors, but they take and control all of the money coming into the home. All the household bills are usually in the woman’s name and he never pays them, forcing her to work harder while never seeing the fruits of her labor.
Forced Family
In this situation, the woman is essentially pregnant every other year of the relationship, ensuring that she will never have the chance to return to work. Depending on her earning power, with the birth of each child, the cost of childcare makes it impossible to return to work. Her life’s work is to care for children and her partner while never knowing what it is like to taste financial freedom and independence. Ultimately, the woman in this relationship is dependent upon her partner for her survival.
What Can Be Done About It?
Have you ever been in a financially abusive relationship? What tips do you have for women in this situation?
WELL I GUESS U SHOULD ALWAYS SAVE SOME FOR URSELF.
A STINGY (BAKHEEL) PERSON CAN NEVER BECOME GENEROUS, HE WOULD WANT TO TAKE ALL HIS SAVINGS TO HIS GRAVE ALONG WITH HIM.:(((
MAY ALLAH GIV HIDAYA TO ALL. ONE SHOULD NOT BE TOO STINGY NOR SHOULD ONE BE A SPENDTHRIFT.
